another story

12 07 2012

A prayer for today:

Understanding Father, I thank you for your never ending patience with me.  Here I am again feeling overwhelmed with my first world “problems” and feeling trapped by myopic vision. Bigger storms have been brewing in my heart than the ones that have taken out great oaks in our neighborhood this week.  Really I think it’s just been the perfect storm to strike my perspective. I  missed my big boy so much during his 12 day trip to visit family in Seattle but I got him back just to be reminded that the chaos of three boys is still my everyday reality. Being a mom never seams to get easier. Also, Joe’s late evenings at work feel even later when I’m surrounded by families happily playing together with both mommy and daddy present, and the real storms outside press on the walls of our house causing an implosion of stir crazy madness. I don’t think you meant for children to be indoors this much. To add to the frustration, I’ve been told that Joe’s office will be moved to a satellite location for the DNC in September….in St. Louis. St. Louis? A satellite for a Charlotte office?  Oh the petty things I complain about.  Lord, I’m grateful that my husband has a job that provides for us but in light of our story, my heart’s not ready for him to travel for a week and over a holiday. I guess we’ll all be making a road trip.

I’m not ready to throw in the towel, but I’m tempted to get in the line where you sign up for another story.  Today I don’t like the one I’m living. I’m sorry for groaning, but I feel like running away.  I’m so glad you’re the only place I know where to go when I run.

In my weariness, I so wish life was easier, but if in my weariness, my weakness and my pain, your beauty is revealed, then I surrender. Jesus, I thank you that the gospel is bigger than all of this and I pray that today you’ll whisper words of hope to my doubting heart and remind me of the sufficiency of your grace. And once again, thank you for being patient with me. I need your tenderness when I feel like this.


In jesus’ name I pray, Amen.